Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Historic Rambling

[Note: This comes from an old journal of mine, about the year 2000-2001.]

Perhaps those of you who are persistently depressed or consistently morbid believe in your hearts that your life, despite your efforts, or perhaps because of them, is ultimately meaningless. Without form or purpose. To this sentiment, I have but one thing to say:
You're probably right.

There may, in fact, be no God or Allah or celestial judgement. No creator. No divine plan. No puzzle for you to be a part in. Not even a minor piece 3/4 from the center of the puzzle. Life may not be a grand play where you are only a spectator. This consciousness may be a biochemical accident in a long string of accidents and chemical coincidences. If this life has no purpose, plan, or meaning, does it matter?

God or no god, does that - should that change what we do?

And why does "meaning" always have to come from an exterior source?
The fact of the matter is, meaning must come from an interior source. "Meaning" only comes from an interior definition of purpose and act. A "meaningful act" which is derived from a "meaningful purpose" can only have "meaning" or definition on a purely personal level.

Simply put, if it has no meaning to you, then it will have little meaning to anyone else. I have a hard time seeing someone showing up to Heaven (or Valhalla; whatever) after a life which contained much personal meaning only to hear from God, "You have led a trite and meaningless life."
Psychosis aside, meaning is meaning. Devotion to the collection of stamps may even border on psycho, but if it is for the purpose of preserving our postal heritage for your grandchildren, I say that has meaning. God may privately make jokes about it with the angels, but deep down I think any god would respect that purpose as meaningful.

Basically, I mean to say the following:
Get off your ass and do something meaningful! Don't ask your neighbor if they think it is the noble, meaningful thing to do. Just find a thing, anything, which provides you purpose and meaning. Examine the purpose and define for yourself the meaning. Don't get caught up with who will notice. Don't worry about being recognized for your postal-preserving efforts. Don't let anyone stop you from living at the bottom of a lake. Give it meaning! Give it purpose! Give it definition!
Your life can only be meaningless if you allow it.

If you have a purpose but die too soon, then your (shortened) life's meaning is the sad incompletion of a worthwhile goal. And with any luck, your (shortened) life may inspire those who knew your goal to take up that purpose. To make it their own. To give their own pathetic life meaning.

But it starts with you. It starts inside.

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