Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Miss. the point

Mississippi lawyers and "legal scholars" responded to HB1523, the "Protecting Freedom of Conscience from Government Discrimination Act"... which is ironic in itself, as it was drafted by Mississippi lawyers and legal scholars... principally authored and introduced by Speaker of the House, Gunn; juris doctor from MS School of Law... co-sponsor Gipson; juris doctor from MS School of Law... but the fact that we are to take "legal scholars" opinions about this is simply an Appeal to Authority.
however, let's address the scholar's argument against:
We share the view of Justice Kennedy when he expressed that “a bare . . . desire to harm a politically unpopular group cannot constitute a legitimate governmental interest,” and would add that neither can such a desire be justified in the name of religious liberty.
well let me retort with another Supreme Court Justice, referring to the same case [Romer v. Evans] as quoted by the above Justice Kennedy:
The constitutional amendment before us here is not the manifestation of a "'bare ... desire to harm' " homosexuals, ante, at 634, but is rather a modest attempt by seemingly tolerant Coloradans to preserve traditional sexual mores against the efforts of a politically powerful minority to revise those mores through use of the laws.
do you see what he said?... it is an attempt by a religious community to protect their Constitutionally guaranteed right to practice their sincerely held beliefs and traditions against a "politically powerful" group which wish to revise their religious practices through the cudgel of law-fare... and that is what HB1523 is precisely trying to accomplish... now, we can argue as to the effectiveness of said law to accomplish that weighty task, however what we cannot deny is the concerted attempt by those outside of a religion to force their own mores onto the religion by use of legal pressure and threat of governmental intervention... if there was ever a greater threat to "Separation of Church and State", i surely don't know of one.

and these scholars are using a statement from a case [Romer v. Evans] which fought against discrimination of a "politically unpopular group", in that case the homosexuals... here, we have it turned upon it's head, where the "politically unpopular group" has become not the minority but an entire religion... and HB1523 is saying that "a bare desire to harm" someone who acts in a manner consistent with their religious practices should not "constitute a legitimate governmental interest."

The Establishment Clause of the First Amendment forbids the government from favoring or disfavoring any particular religion or religion in general.
this statement flies in the face of what the legal scholars just said in their own previous statement... here we have numerous cases of the government disfavoring religion in general, yet when HB1523 attempts to remove itself from the fray, suddenly these legal scholars want the government to take sides again!

In Cutter v. Wilkinson, the Court upheld a broad religious accommodation law while explaining that accommodations need not be granted where they “impose unjustified burdens” on third parties or the State. Most recently, in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby, the Court granted a religious accommodation to an employer but repeatedly emphasized in the opinion the fact that employees would, according to the Court, not be harmed.
and then the legal scholars quote two cases where religious liberties were upheld, but they want us to believe that HB1523 will cause government to "tend to express support" by not allowing homosexuals to punish religion for following their beliefs... this is twisted logic... two cases uphold the rights of people and companies to practice their sincerely held beliefs, HB1523 goes out of its way to secure the rights of both homosexuals and religion, yet by passage of this law the government has "expressed support" for one over the other... by supporting the rights of one group, you are not de facto denying the rights of another group... you can, in fact, allow both parties their rights, which is what HB1523, albeit clumsily, tries to do.

Those who will be most harmed by this law are LGBT Mississippians, intersex persons, persons who defy sex and gender stereotypes, and persons who have had sex outside marriage—the most easily-identifiable of whom are unmarried parents and pregnant persons.
oh my God (pun intended).
In many different contexts that will be enumerated below, the law strips Mississippians of applicable antidiscrimination protections in order to accommodate the preferences of religious individuals and institutions.
so what are the "enumerated" contexts which protections will be removed?
Several Mississippi municipalities have passed resolutions opposing discrimination against LGBT people, or protecting LGBT people from some forms of discrimination. As acceptance for LGBT rights continues to grow, other municipalities are likely to follow suit. In addition, some administrative agencies and courts have held that sex discrimination laws are properly interpreted to prohibit discrimination on the basis of sex stereotyping, sexual orientation, or gender identity. In 2013, for example, the 5th Circuit found that the prohibition of sexual harassment in Title VII of the Civil Rights Act protected a male employee whose male co-workers called him “kind of gay” and a “faggot.”
 i'm just going throw a flag here.
By exempting certain religious entities from an obligation to treat all Mississippians equally, HB 1523 effectively sacrifices the equality rights of many in order to accommodate the religious preferences of a few. In some cases, accommodations will also intrude upon Mississippians’ privacy rights. Allowing discrimination based on sexual practices and gender identity could lead employers, housing providers, businesses, and even the state to demand intrusive and unnecessary information from citizens about their sexual histories, practices, and even their private anatomies.
now, i will agree that HB1523 makes a faux pas when it comes to religious organization housing providers... Section 3(1)(c) of the law states that:
The state government shall not take any discriminatory action against a religious organization wholly or partially on the basis that such organization [m]akes any decision concerning the sale, rental, occupancy of, or terms and conditions of occupying a dwelling or other housing under its control, based upon or in a manner consistent with a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction.
but i don't know of a case where a religious organization has property which is for public sale, rent, or occupancy which it could then discriminate against someone who is LGBT... most religious property is for private sale, rent, or occupancy by persons of the same religion... can someone who does not agree to the Christian regulations of Homes of Grace, a faith based addiction recovery organization, force them to provide them with services?... only by the protections of HB1523 is Homes of Grace protected.

Several provisions of HB 1523 allow government employees—who represent the state and have sworn to uphold the law—to discriminate against LGBT and unmarried Mississippians based on their religious beliefs.
well that's only partially true... the government employees, who have the same Constitutionally guaranteed rights as private citizens, are able to recuse themselves from taking part in activities which they are morally or religiously against... however, HB1523 specifically provides relief to the people who seek those activities... and it provides language which allows those people, generally LGBT persons, if impeded or delayed... Section 3(8)(b) specifically says:
The person who is recusing himself or herself shall take all necessary steps to ensure that the authorization and licensing of any legally valid marriage is not impeded or delayed as a result of any recusal.
see?... the person who is recusing themselves from the process must personally ensure that their recusal does not impede or delay the person seeking relief... the onus is upon us if we wish to recuse ourselves.

Further, it’s unclear what will happen if all clerks at a particular location exempt themselves.
the fairy-tale scenario of "what if everyone recuses themselves" is forcibly denied by the requirement that those who recuse themselves must personally ensure that someone will provide the service!... in fact, Section 8(2) says:
Nothing in this act shall be construed to prevent the state government from providing, either directly or through an individual or entity not seeking protection under this act, any benefit or service authorized under state law.
so they are trying to provide religious freedom on one hand, and protection from discrimination at the same time!

Section 3(4) prohibits the government from taking “discriminatory action” against persons who decline to provide counseling or other medical services based on their religious beliefs about sex, marriage, and gender identity.
the legal scholars' example is "For example, a mental health counselor employed at a public school, whose salary is paid by the government, could refuse to work with LGBT students because of her religious beliefs and keep her job."... aside from the sexist pronoun (how about them apples?), i would argue that this is an extremely unlikely proposition, which could be simply remedied by the school in question by having the counselors make their objections known upfront, and the school would then provide a counselor who does not have that particular objection... but i'd have to throw a flag against myself:
and i'd be right... just because it's improbable, that does not make it impossible... so i will concede that HB1523 falls short on the side of government employees and complete coverage of remedies... the law should have provided the same protections provided in Section 3(8) to those in Section 3(4)... but i would argue that the reverse side of the coin would be just as offensive:
"For example, a doctor employed at a public hospital, whose salary is paid by the government, could refuse to perform abortions because of her religious beliefs and lose her job."
however, a poorly constructed law does not negate the truth which stands behind the need for such a law... there are numerous examples of intolerance of religion by those who are promoting LGBT causes... this law was crafted not to deny rights, but to protect the rights of individuals who are being assailed... simply acting in accord to one's faith has become punishable by extremists who disagree with the tenets of the religion.

but all of this misses the point of HB1523... if religion were not under attack, this type of legislation would not have been necessary.

source:
Mississippi Lawyers, Legal Scholars Respond to HB1523 | JFP Mobile | Jackson, Mississippi
HB1523 - Protecting Freedom of Conscience from Government Discrimination Act
Romer v. Evans
Cutter v. Wilkinson
Homes of Grace


Wednesday, September 9, 2015

free exercise will cost you


ME: The law should protect both parties' rights; rights of equal protection and of religion.
THEM: Your group is infringing on my group's rights and discriminating against them.
ME: My group has religious rights, too. The law should accommodate both parties' rights.
THEM: Your group has every right to their religious beliefs, right up to the point where they infringe on my group's religious beliefs.
ME: You never address how to keep your group from infringing on my group's rights.
THEM: No one is telling your group what to believe. Or infringing on their practice of religion. They can pick either their religion or their employment, but not both.
ME: Your solution is they lose their jobs? How is that not an infringement of my group's religious rights?
THEM: Suck it up and do it, or find another job. Your group is free to practice their beliefs, as long as the practice does not infringe on my group's beliefs.
ME: You continue to deny accommodation for my group, while requiring accommodation of yours. How is that equal?
THEM: I made no request for accommodation for my group. I only threatened your group with their source of income. Your group is free to act against their religion. Or they can lose their job.

Why am I spending so much time fighting this battle?

Because, even though Kim Davis (county clerk in Kentucky) may have been in the wrong for HOW she acted, this is a larger demonstration of what has been going on in this country.

In a country where one of the very first enumerated rights is the "free exercise" of religion, it is hard to believe how often that right is being taken away. Perhaps even more concerning is how unequally those rights are being observed, even allowed. Cake bakers, photographers, military personnel, private property owners, flower shops, printing companies, and private individuals are being taken to court, as well as slandered in public, over their deeply held religious beliefs.

And with each instance, the clamoring gets louder that religion is something to be ashamed of; to hide away in your homes. Which is even more startling given the history of those who shout the loudest; those who for so very long had to hide their own beliefs for fear of ridicule and retaliation. Somehow, in this upside-down world, it is "Justice" to attack, degrade, and demean those who disagree. But it is that type of behavior which is called "bigotry" when practiced by those who call themselves "conservative". Yet it's hailed as "Social Justice" by those who, without irony, call themselves "progressives".

This largely takes place against openly Christian groups and individuals.

Yet with each instance, should the groups switch places, or should a different favored group be inserted for the "offensive" christian group, the reaction is entirely different. If a christian denies a homosexual access to their services, they are reviled, slandered, and often litigated.

Not so, if it were a homosexual denying a christian.

Not so, if it were a muslim group denying a homosexual. Or sometimes, even killing them.


Dick and Betty Odgaard believed in 2013 that they were standing for their Mennonite beliefs when they refused to let a gay couple get married at their Gortz Haus Gallery, a Grimes church they had turned into a flower shop and bistro.
The Odgaards in December agreed to a settlement with the two men stating that their business would not discriminate in offering its services to the public. Instead of being forced to open the venue to same-sex weddings, the Odgaards ended their wedding business entirely.


Stutzman is the Washington florist who has been sued for living out her Christian beliefs. In 2013, a long-time friend and customer came to her flower shop and asked her to provide flowers for his gay wedding. Stutzman had known this man and had done business with him for about nine years. Nevertheless, she told him that she could not participate in his wedding "because of my relationship with Jesus."
Keep in mind that Stutzman does not refuse service to gay people. Indeed she had been selling flowers to this gay couple for nine years. She has also employed gay people in her flower shop.
The court also ruled recently that both the state and the same-sex couple, who each filed lawsuits against her, may collect damages and attorneys fees not only from her business, but from Stutzman personally. That means the 70-year-old grandmother may not only lose her business, but also her home and savings because she lives her life and operates her business according to her beliefs.


In Oregon, the state labor commissioner in July ordered the owners of Sweet Cakes by Melissa to pay $135,000 damages to a lesbian couple for refusing to bake them a wedding cake. Aaron and Melissa Klein have appealed the ruling to the Oregon Court of Appeals.


Hands On Originals contended that it declined the T-shirt order because it is a Christian company and disagreed with the message of the shirt. The shirt was a stylized numeral 5 on the front. On the back was "Lexington Pride Festival" and a list of sponsors of the gay pride event.
Sexton said in a statement that the ruling is a landmark for Lexington's Fairness Ordinance. "If you're going to do business in Lexington, you must make your goods and services accessible to everyone regardless of the protected classes, including sexual orientation and gender identity. ... If this was a case involving race, religion or national origin, there would be no debate on right or wrong."


Senior Master Sgt. Phillip Monk, assigned to the 37th Training Wing, said Friday he was relieved July 26 of his duties as first sergeant of a training squadron and forced to take leave because he disagreed with his commanding officer’s position on gay marriage. He says his commander is openly lesbian.
Monk said he was subsequently relieved of his duties at the unit, and had to request permission to return in order to collect personal items. “I was relieved of my position because I do not agree with my commander’s position on gay marriage,” he said.


Atlanta city officials say they were within their rights to fire former Atlanta Fire Chief Kelvin Cochran because he wrote — and offered for sale — a Christian book without permission and gave copies of it to nearly two dozen people at work.
The councilman, who is openly gay, has told the Atlanta Constitution-Journal that “when you’re a city employee and [your] thoughts, beliefs and opinions are different from the city’s, you have to check them at the door,” according to ADF attorneys.


source:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/04/01/gortz-haus-indiana-religion-law/70810344/
http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/20/living/stutzman-florist-gay/
http://www.oregonlive.com/business/index.ssf/2015/08/colorado_court_rules_against_c.html
http://www.kentucky.com/2014/10/07/3468006_hands-on-originals-discriminated.html?rh=1
http://archive.militarytimes.com/article/20130816/NEWS05/308160021/AF-sgt-claims-he-fired-religious-views-gays
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/gay-texas-judge-tonya-parker-won-perform-marriages-straight-couples-article-1.1027709
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/apr/5/video-puts-muslim-bakeries-florists-in-gay-rights-/?page=all
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/being-gay-in-the-islamic-state-men-reveal-chilling-truth-about-homosexuality-under-isis-10470894.html

Monday, June 29, 2015

oh well we know better - Re-Blog

Symposium: “Oh, well, we know better.”
Christopher Green is an Associate Professor at Ole Miss Law.

Near the beginning of the oral argument in Obergefell v. Hodges, Justice Anthony Kennedy caused many observers to think that the Court might allow states to keep traditional marriage definitions after all. These definitions had, Kennedy said, been in place for millennia. “I don’t even know how to count the decimals when we talk about millennia. This definition has been with us for millennia. And it it’s very difficult for the Court to say, oh, well, we—we know better.” Two months later, however, Kennedy surmounted those difficulties. Chief Justice John Roberts puts the point well in his dissent: “If an unvarying social institution enduring over all of recorded history cannot inhibit judicial policymaking, what can?”

Quite unlike the opinion in Roe v. Wade, which frankly acknowledged its ignorance on the status of the fetus, Kennedy repeatedly claims to know better than the preceding millennia about whether same-sex couples are similarly situated to opposite-sex couples with respect to the purposes of marriage. His opinion is suffused with epistemic language. He speaks of what the plaintiffs’ “stories reveal,” of what “new dimensions of freedom become apparent,” of “greater awareness,” of what “psychiatrists and others [have] recognized,” of what is “now manifest,” of “knowledge,” of “new insights and societal understandings,” of “new awareness,” of what is “now clear,” of what “must be … acknowledged,” and of “enhanced understanding.”

The recognition of the need for a reliable factual foundation is perhaps a step up from Roe’s passive-aggressive approach of disclaiming knowledge on the key issue yet resolving the policy question anyway. The Court’s claims of knowledge today, by contrast, are more candidly aggressive. The Court simply announces that “[t]here is no difference between same- and opposite-sex couples” regarding the purposes of marriage.

Unlike Roe, the Court gives us few details of the sociological, psychological, and biological disputes it resolves. As Chief Justice Roberts’s dissent puts it, “The answer is surely there in one of those amicus briefs or studies.” Mere amount of deliberation is enough for the Court: “[M]any of the central institutions in American life—state and local governments, the military, large and small businesses, labor unions, religious organizations, law enforcement, civic groups, professional organizations, and universities—have devoted substantial attention to the question.”

“Substantial attention to the question” is one thing, but what of the answers? These groups have, of course, reached no consensus on whether same-sex and opposite-sex couples (or other arrangements) are similarly situated. Chief Justice Roberts quotes an eerily-applicable 1976 line from then-Justice William Rehnquist: “Surely the Constitution does not put either the legislative branch or the executive branch in the position of a television quiz show contestant so that when a given period of time has elapsed and a problem remains unresolved by them, the federal judiciary may press a buzzer and take its turn at fashioning a solution.”

It is striking to compare Roe’s relative epistemic humility in the face of disagreement over when the human fetus begins to have rights: “When those trained in the respective disciplines of medicine, philosophy, and theology are unable to arrive at any consensus, the judiciary, at this point in the development of man’s knowledge, is not in a position to speculate as to the answer.” The Court feels no such modesty today.

One of the Court’s few specific scientific claims is particularly striking: “Only in more recent years have psychiatrists and others recognized that sexual orientation is both a normal expression of human sexuality and immutable.” The Court then cites pages 7 to 17 of the American Psychological Association’s amicus brief. Digging into these pages is quite instructive. The APA itself notes at page 7 that “sexual orientation ranges along a continuum,” and claims only that it is “highly resistant to change.” The Court upgrades this to “immutable,” a word the APA itself never uses. The brief reports at page 8 that “only 5% of gay men and 16% of lesbians reported feeling they had ‘a fair amount’ or ‘a great deal’ of choice about their sexual orientation.” That’s a lot more fluidity than the Court acknowledges. At pages 8-9, the amicus brief notes, “Fully 88% of gay men and 68% of lesbians reported that they had ‘no choice at all.’”

The Court’s immutability claim, then, disagrees with thirty-two percent of lesbians’ self-reports, according to the very source on which the Court relies. Among people who take the question seriously, there is surely room for those who agree with the ancients – whether Plato in the Symposium or Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:11 – in recognizing more fluidity to sexual orientation than does the Court. If the Court’s ipse dixit cannot end psychological debate over the extent of the contingency of sexual orientation, its ipse dixits on the general issue of the relevant similarity of same-sex and opposite-sex couples will fare no better.

The citation of authority on the immutability point is an exception, though. For most claims, the Court says little about how it can be so sure about them. I am reminded of the movie Toy Story 2. Asked by Mr. Potato Head, “What makes you so sure?” Buzz replies, “I’m Buzz Lightyear. I’m always sure!” Whatever expressions of diffidence Justice Kennedy might express in late April, by late June he always seems to find a way to summon sufficient confidence. To paraphrase Captain Willard from Apocalypse Now, it’s hard to find much to criticize as unsound about his method, because it’s hard to see much method at all.

The Court’s great confidence about the relevant similarity of opposite-sex and same-sex couples is especially striking when paired with its great skepticism about claims that expansion of the label “marriage” will dilute its effectiveness for traditional applications by severing the connection between natural procreation and marriage. The Court summarily pronounces the idea “counterintuitive” and “unrealistic” and claims that the states had “not shown a foundation” for it. However, the dilution of esteem when a label is expanded was obvious to the Court in its Mishawaka Manufacturing v. Kresge Co. decision of 1942 – the “psychological power of symbols” and the “drawing power of a congenial symbol” could be undermined if trademarks could be freely used by others, following Frank Schechter’s 1926 description of the “gradual whittling away or dispersion of the identity and hold upon the public mind of the mark or name.” For all of Kennedy’s confidence about the social dynamics of meaning, honor, and dignity, it is surprising that he cannot recognize this danger, or even see a reason to stay agnostic about it.

The Court’s unexplained decision that the nation has deliberated long enough contrasts sharply, of course, with its decision eighteen years ago in Washington v. Glucksberg. Under that rule, deliberation continues until the political process has reached a consensus; only outliers against the American tradition of civil liberty will be struck down for violating fundamental rights. Citing the fundamental-right-to-marriage cases—Loving v. Virginia from 1967, Zablocki v. Redhail from 1978, and Turner v. Safley from 1987 – the Court makes “marriage and intimacy” cases a Glucksberg-free zone. Rather than reading those earlier cases to limit Glucksberg’s doctrine, though, it seems much more natural to instead read Glucksberg to refine those cases’ rationales. Loving considered a thirty-four-sixteen majority in favor of the rule it imposed on states – and itself restored a common-law rule—but Obergefell overturns a thirty-four-sixteen majority against it. Limits on child-support-delinquents’ or prisoners’ rights to marry were likewise outliers in 1978 and 1987.

In sum, the Court errs in seeing itself as the only possible source of progress (or guidance on what counts as progress) on civil liberties. The Court claims, “If rights were defined by who exercised them in the past, then received practices could serve as their own continued justification and new groups could not invoke rights once denied.” To the contrary; obviously new groups can invoke “rights once denied” under Glucksberg; they are only prevented from nationalizing those rights until a genuine consensus exists. A tradition- and outlier-based approach to constitutional adjudication need not entail traditionalism for the elected branches. The Court says, “Were the Court to uphold the challenged laws as constitutional, it would teach the Nation that these laws are in accord with our society’s most basic compact.” Not so – not permanently. Even if it had affirmed, the Court could easily have made clear – as the European Court of Human Rights did in Schalk & Kopf v. Austria in 2010 in refusing to require same-sex marriage for all of Europe – that such a consensus might yet emerge in the future. If the Court really had the courage that its conclusions about same-sex marriage can withstand sustained deliberation and contestation, it too would have waited.

[emphasis added]
source:
Chris Green, Symposium: “Oh, well, we know better.”, SCOTUSblog (Jun. 26, 2015, 4:27 PM), http://www.scotusblog.com/2015/06/symposium-oh-well-we-know-better/

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

and further down the slope we go

The Colorado legislature is considering the repeal of laws in the state that criminalize adultery or any act that would “promote sexual immorality.” According to Lynn Bartels of The Denver Post, the process of repeal is now well underway, with the House Judiciary Committee voting 8-3 to take adultery and sexual immorality out of the criminal code in Colorado.

Missing from the legislative debate, at least as reported in the media, is any acknowledgment of how such statutes entered the law books in the first place. Throughout most of human history, morality and law were united and in agreement when it came to the reality of adultery and the larger context of sexual immorality. Laws criminalizing adultery were adopted because the society believed that marriage was central to its own existence and flourishing, and that adultery represented a dagger struck at the heart of the society, as well as the heart of marriage.

Rep. Daniel Kagan (Democrat of Cherry Hills Village) seemed to be completely unaware that his own state had once considered adultery to be a sin of public consequence. “Adultery is a matter between a person and their spouse and their conscience and their minister, but not between a person and the full enforcement of the state of Colorado,” he said. He concluded: “Let’s keep the police out of our bedrooms.”

Well, the police have not conducted adultery raids in some time, Rep. Kagan. The law in Colorado criminalizes adultery, but includes no penalty. The law has been, at a bare minimum, a reminder of the public nature of marriage and the societal threat of adultery.

The sexual revolution and our cultural addiction to autonomous individualism has changed all that, but that moral shift should not go unnoticed. We are now reaping the inevitable result of treating marriage as a merely private affair, and adultery as a merely private sin. The action in the Colorado legislature is just a sign of what has already taken place in the larger culture.

source:
Adultery: When Law and Morality (used to) Agree by Albert Mohler on March 4, 2013

Sunday, October 21, 2012

marriage advice no one told you

sometimes, i think arranged marriages are better... think about it... you've never met this person until your wedding day... then you must get to know this person slowly over the course of a lifetime; day by day... there are no excuses... you can't say, "You're not the person i used to know" or "You've changed"... no "Irreconcilable differences" because all you have are differences... and you must reconcile all of them!

too often, people think marriage is when you stop dating and can "be yourself"... but if your spouse married someone other than "yourself", why are we surprised when problems arise?... you get mad when he/she says they don't know you anymore, but it's your fault!... you've been lying to them all along!... it's no wonder divorce rates are so high.

which brings me to divorce... liberals (read: atheists, anarchists, gay marriage proponents, polygamists, and perverts - i'm using this term in the broadest sense) try to use divorce rates as ammunition to promote their own agenda... i'm not going to judge their agenda, only their method of attack... you see, divorce rates are so high because we have given in to the notion that marriage is a personal choice... one which we can change our minds on just because things didn't turn out like we imagined... the joke is usually "a man gets married hoping his wife won't change, and a woman gets married hoping her husband will; both are disappointed"... marriage isn't about personal choice... it's about making a commitment; not with the opposite member, but with yourself... moreover, it's a contract between you and your family, community, and society as a whole... it's most importantly a contract with God... i'll discuss this last point in a minute.

your word is your bond... when you say "I do", you had better... if you change your mind, what you are saying is "I don't follow through on my word, on my sacred honor, and I don't value commitments"... while i would never judge all divorcees, as i don't know who left whom, a person who causes a marriage to dissolve has decided their own word has no value... a person can justify it all they want, but you have broken your most sacred and valuable promise... the only saving grace is if your divorce is caused by the broken promise of your spouse, as a contract can only be whole if upheld by both parties... infidelity is colloquially understood as sexual, but fidelity means loyalty and the strict observance of promises... if your partner is disloyal to your marriage, be it sexual or not, then the contract is not being upheld.

that being said, it's not enough that your partner has been disloyal... you need to discover if you can repair the contract... marriage is about more than your personal feelings being hurt... it's a contract between more than two people.

you promised your family... not only your children (or future children)... you promised your parents... you promised to uphold the traditions of your ancestors... these traditions often seem like trivial things... "liberals" will attack traditions, too; trying to trivialize them... but these traditions are the glue that holds societies together... they are designed, over centuries, to reinforce family values and to strengthen family bonds... we don't send Christmas cards every year because Jesus told us to (he didn't)... we do it to remind ourselves that the people we are closest to are important to us... that they have value... that, though we may not think about them daily, we want them to know we haven't forgotten them.

also, we uphold these family traditions because it gives us a chance to remember... our family has stories, personal stories, that need to be remembered... each member has events which shaped their lives, and if we listen closely, we can allow them to shape our own... often, the harshest teacher we will ever encounter is experience... but not everyone must burn themselves to know fire is hot... stories being passed down, generation to generation, teach us... we borrow experience, and learn from them ourselves... "nani gigantum humeris insidentes" ("dwarves perched on the shoulders of giants")... to paraphrase Newton, we see further from the shoulders of giants.

a broken marriage also hurts society... each marriage is a contract with society, in essence saying "I will promote well-being within my community; I vow to protect others as I would protect myself"... you are showing, by example, your commitment to the whole by your actions in the part... for example, should you not value your own vows, what value can you reasonably expect others to ascribe to their own contracts?... should society, as a whole, devalue the bonds of matrimony, how can any member of that society hold secure those bonds society hold with them?... we trust that our government will honor its commitments to us, but when we don't honor our own, is it really any surprise that governments are inconstant in their promises?

God... we make these vows before God... atheists scoff at this... but even to the atheist, this should be our most solemn vow... "But why," you ask, "should an atheist make a vow before God?"... because this is a vow to our secret heart... we make this promise to ourselves, that should we be presented with an opportunity to be disloyal such that no one should ever know, we vow to remain constant to the promises we made... to a theist, God knows and sees all things, even those kept secret from our families and communities... should we break our pledge, God holds us accountable... an atheist believes in no such authority... so, should opportunity arise, there is no higher authority but himself... but the worst problem with this is the atheist is not omniscient... he has no means of knowing the future and whether his infidelity would ever be discovered... he can reason and justify all of his vows away, but he can't escape the fact that he can never fully know the outcome.

a theist resists infidelities even in the mind, knowing that God knows a man's heart... adultery in the mind is as detestable as adultery in the flesh... justifying one legitimizes the other... and i can hear the arguments already... "Just because I imagine it, doesn't mean I condone acting on it"... and that's true, one doesn't cause the other... but allowing your heart, in secret, to be disloyal to your vows grants you the first support for being disloyal in all other actions... "If no one ever knows, there isn't any harm"... how often do you hear, "No harm; no foul"... but when we justify one indiscretion, we open the floodgate for all others... you cannot open Pandora's box and only extract hope... either we maintain our vows, in public and in secret, or we find any reason to dissolve them.

and we often presume that our infidelities are secret and never known... we, fallible creatures as we are, will never know the end result of our actions until it is upon us... if we are not steadfast and stalwart in our vows, in secret and in public, we open ourselves up to the unknowable... for example, should we allow ourselves to be disloyal to our vow of "for richer or for poorer", should financial difficulties arise, we have allowed ourselves the latitude to place blame... once we have placed blame, in secret and in our heart, we will unknowingly change our behavior... there is nothing quite so hurtful as a slight roll of the eyes, thereby firmly announcing our placement of blame... we have been disloyal in our heart, and, without our conscious consent, we have displayed it to the world.

a firm commitment to our vow to an almighty God is our greatest protection against our own frailties.

wow... i've spent a lot of effort on fidelity... that wasn't where i was going with this... but, i suppose, you can't go anywhere without a firm foundation... once you have that, you have something upon which to build.

and how do you build on a marriage?... first, forget what everyone has told you (except this, of course)... marriage is never what you expect it to be... mainly, it isn't fun... oh, it can be... but that isn't what a marriage is... more often than not, it's a lot of work... it is compromise and often doing what you really don't want to do... and doing it with a genuine smile... yes, genuine... you have to decide for yourself that you will do that thing, which you would rather not do, because it is good for your marriage... doing something half-ass or begrudgingly is decidedly detrimental to a marriage... either do it completely or don't do it at all... dragging your feet like a hurt child only does damage to a marriage... playing games like "I'm-only-doing-this-because-I-have-to" or "If-I-do-this-you-owe-me" is childish at best, and does nothing to promote unity and growth... it's simply poisonous.

but being a push-over is equally poisonous... letting your spouse win every argument does nothing to grow a marriage... sure, it builds his self-esteem, but at the expense of your own... something as simple as what to have for dinner can build a marriage... even though many wives say they don't care what to have or where to go for dinner, this is often disingenuous... they care... but they often will let you chose for them as a gesture of kindness... men, notice this... it's fine to chose your favorite restaurant or meal... but, on occasion, chose what they would like... show them that you understand their gesture, and give them one back... if you go to a sports bar for wings and beers, take them out for sushi and cocktails (or whatever their personal preference is)... offer to cook dinner, and make something they like.

i'd make the same observation for women, but often they're better at this than men... however, they're not so good at it as they think they are... women like to spend time with their men, and men do to... but men want quality time, not necessarily quantity... you see this in the advent of the "man cave"... it's funny, but even back in the day when men spent 12 hours in the fields, they would come home only to go spend another 4 or 5 in the yard, barn, garage, or wherever they could... it isn't that they don't want to spend time with their wives, but they don't often get to spend time with themselves.

we're just wired differently... each of us needs to understand our own wiring and that of our spouse... we need to adjust our own minds to accommodate that of the other.

at the end of the day, we are each individuals... we know ourselves best... for us to have a successful marriage, our spouse must know us, too... and while many men would claim their wives are psychic mind-readers, none of us are able to delve into the depths of another's mind without a guide.

communication... this is the true pitfall of all marriages... "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Driftwood (1857)... how do you know a secret history?... the only way to see it is through the lens of the viewer... i say "lens" because often even the person who lived it has colored it some... we don't like to remember our own faults and failures, but they are as much a part of our makeup as our merits and successes... if we don't communicate everything to our spouse, is it their fault when they stumble over a tender subject?... if wounded, ask yourself, "Could they have known?"... often we fight over things that the other could never have guessed was an issue... it is a rare case when a person intentionally wounds their partner... even if they do, there surely is a reason behind it... the point is simple... communicate.

so often you hear the accusation, "They rushed into marriage"... i think that's a poor excuse... arranged marriages often turn out to be the strongest... and it's not that those who set them up were excellent match-makers... far from it... but from the outset, these couples understand that they are entering unknown waters... their futures, fortunes, and very lives depend on how cautiously they enter into these vows... (a man can be as overbearing as he likes, but he must sleep sometime... he must eat... even the most docile creature attacks when cornered)... when the health of your marriage determines your future, you treat it with more reverence and respect.

"They're too young"... balderdash... it's not that they're too young... it's that they're ignorant... ignorant of what the commitment truly is... oh, they think they know... but they don't... how could they?... they believe what they see around them... they believe that they can simply walk away if they don't like it... because that's what a devalued marriage is these days... it's simply a personal choice... if at first you don't succeed, try, try again... bullshit... this is the most important decision you will ever make in your lifetime... because it will forever alter your life... young people don't take this seriously, because, for them, a lifetime is merely eighteen years... eighty years is unthinkable... it might as well be a thousand... when your most far-seeing goal is "what am i going to do with my life", you don't dwell much on who will feed you on your death-bed... the most anyone can project their lives forward is equal to the years they have lived... at eighteen, you can't imagine forty... (hell, at forty you wonder what forty-one might bring)... too young is really too naive.

sex.

got your attention now, don't i?... the devaluation of marriage is the single greatest reason for the rise in teen pregnancies, single mothers, and crime rates... sex is the cornerstone of the problem.

sex has consequences... oh, i know the common "liberal" responses... they'll talk contraception and abortion... women's rights... personal choice... sexual identity... but what it really comes down to is simply, "I'll make up any excuse to do what feels good"... forget personal responsibility.

well, here's the reality of it... sex is final... that's right; once you've had sex, it can't be undone... insert your own joke about how you can unscrew a light bulb... so what?... what's the big deal?... well, the unintended consequences are many... let's start with promises... when you have sex, you are implying to the opposite party that all results of the sex are agreeable to both members, intended and otherwise... you may not actually mean it, but don't get hung up on the details... the opposite member may not see it your way... neither will you, should you contract an STD... you'd have every right to be upset... and if you got pregnant, you'd have every right to expect the other member to be at least 50% responsible for it... but, let's be realistic... does that happen?... no, of course not... to quote President Obama, often girls are "punished with a baby" and left to their own devices by a dead-beat boy/dad.

but let's assume you've avoided the baby issue... and even the STD issue (which, by the way, you can still get no matter what protection you use)... you can't avoid the emotional issue... sex creates an emotional connection, whether you want it to, or not... men can usually get over this (again, we're wired differently)... but for women, it can be more difficult... this isn't necessarily their fault, either... sex releases oxytocin in the brain... this drug is so powerful that, in a 20 second hug, a woman can produce enough oxytocin to bond her to that man... during sex, dopamine is also dumped into the body... dopamine is highly addictive... but men aren't let off the hook easily, either... they get hit by vasopressin... this causes pair-bonding (read: monogamy)... that's right, guys... if you have sex, you might never have sex with anyone else... ever. (horror)

but a good, strong-willed "liberal" would be able to overcome all that neurochemistry, right?... of course... and that's where it all goes wrong.

like any good drug, you get hooked on it... you've had it, so you want it again... and what's wrong with that?... well, if you continue to avoid all the other pitfalls stated above, there's only two things left to avoid... addiction and resistance... sexual addiction is a well documented phenomenon (and videos of said documentation can be purchased at you local adult video store)... seriously, it's a problem that does not need to be expanded on here.

resistance, however, is another problem that is rarely discussed... but, like any drug, once you begin to use it, it takes greater doses to achieve the same result... for women, they just want the sex to last longer so they get the same oxytocin/dopamine fix... men also want more sex to get the same dopamine high... but men get resistant to vasopressin... they build up a tolerence to "monogamy"... sex, of any duration, doesn't bond them any greater... so, you have a dopamine fiend who has lost the pair-bonding requirement... wonder what happens next?

does this sound familiar?... man #1 has "played the field" before getting married... lots of sexual partners... avoided getting anyone pregnant, contracting an STD, or being shot by the girls' fathers... finally, he 'decides' to settle down... he finds 'Miss. Right' and marries her... well, the new Mrs. Right finds she has a sexual dynamo and expert lover... lucky her!... she gets all the oxytocin and dopamine she can handle... everything is grand!... but Mr. Right is drifting further and further away... he gets his 'Mid-Life Crisis'... buys a sports car (also a dopamine addiction)... suddenly, Mrs. Right finds out Mr. Right has had an affair with Miss Wrong, as well as his secretary, Miss Mediocre, and also Mrs. Satisfactory from down the street... and we wonder what went wrong.

we could discuss the benefits/costs of sex before marriage, but this is neuroscience... sex outside of marriage is detrimental to your future marriage... and when (not if) the vasopressin begins to fade, you had better be prepared to honor your vows and make good on your promises... because the next marriage will be (chemically) more difficult than the first.

so, all you "liberals"... there may be very good reasons to not believe in Biblical teachings... but these ancient rules now have modern science giving you the same answers... marriage is sacred, no matter your beliefs... sex outside of marriage is detrimental... devaluation of marriage and of sex directly leads to societal ills.

this is the most important decision of your life... do it right.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

there is no war on religion... promise!

Dept. of the Navy - Walter Reed National Military Medical Center
WRNATMILMEDCENINST 5720.4C - NAVMED Policy Memo 10-015
Partners in Care Guidelines

Section 8.f - "No religious items (i.e. Bibles, reading materials, and/or artifacts) are allowed to be given away or used during a visit."

maybe it's me, but if the United States Navy has been put on the task, it sure looks like a "war on religion" to me.

but maybe this war is winnable:

We are in the process of rewriting our policy and would like to offer the following statement:

Bibles and other religious materials have always been and will remain available for patient use at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. The visitation policy as written was incorrect and should have been more thoroughly reviewed before its release. It has been rescinded. We apologize for any confusion the policy may have caused.

Please know that at admission, all patients are asked for their religious preference and a chaplain associated with their preference visits them regularly to provide spiritual services. In addition, their families may also bring religious material.

WRNMMC provides multiple venues at WRMNMC for religious expression and worship. There is daily Catholic Mass as well as Protestant, Hindu, and Muslim services. Eucharist is also available at the bedside. There are weekly Torah studies, multiple weekly Christian bible studies, as well as weekly Qur'an study. Furthermore, chaplains coordinate spiritual needs for those whose faith groups are not represented by staff chaplains (such as Latter-Day Saints, Buddhist, and Christian Scientist).

Walter Reed National Military Medical Center remains committed to supporting the religious preferences of all our patients and we will continue to ensure their spiritual needs are met.
- Walter Reed National Military Medical Center

meanwhile, in other news...

If you think this is an isolated incident, consider the following dozen-plus examples reported in the past six months alone by the FRC and Rep. Forbes' office and a few of my own I found, which document how religious freedom and Christian liberty in particular have been limited, quarantined, omitted or outright obliterated.

--The Air Force Academy apologized for merely announcing Operation Christmas Child --a Christian-based charity and relief program designed to send holiday gifts to impoverished children around the world.

--Yet the Air Force is building an $80,000 Stonehenge-like worship site for "earth-based" religions, including "pagans, Wiccans, druids, witches and followers of Native American faiths."

--The Marine Corps considered tearing down a Camp Pendleton cross meant to honor fallen heroes.

--Air Force officials stripped religious curriculum from a 20-year-old course on "just war theory."

--The Department of Veterans Affairs censored references to God and Jesus during prayers at Houston National Cemetery.

--The Democratic-controlled U.S. Senate passed the $662 billion National Defense Authorization Act of 2012, which included a repeal of Article 125 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice, which states: "Any person subject to this chapter who engages in unnatural carnal copulation with another person of the same or opposite sex or with an animal is guilty of sodomy."

--The Department of Health and Human Services unveiled new health care rules that ignore basic conscience protections for medical workers with faith-based objections to abortion and contraception.

--Officials at HHS denied funding for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops' successful program for sex trafficking victims because of the church's teaching on human life.

--Administration officials refused to intervene in the closing of the U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom.

--President Barack Obama has lobbied for the passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which would trample on the faith of employers in hiring, firing and promotion decisions.

--The Pentagon released new regulations that force chaplains to perform same-sex "weddings" despite their religious objections.

--Secretary of State Hillary Clinton demonized other countries' religious beliefs as an obstacle to radical homosexual rights.

--Just this past week, the Military Religious Freedom Foundation sent a letter to officials at Travis Air Force Base, demanding the removal or transfer of a Nativity scene and a menorah that are part of a larger holiday display on the base.
- by Chuck Norris, at Newsbusters.com, on December 20, 2011

sources:
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/chuck-norris/2011/12/20/feds-war-religion-part-1-2
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/chuck-norris/2011/12/27/feds-war-religion-part-2-2
http://www.bethesda.med.navy.mil/

Monday, October 24, 2011

where do i sign up?

Sharia = no interest loans plus polygamy.
Post-Gaddafi Libya will have Sharia Law as the "basic source" of its civil laws, declared interim leader Mustafa Abdul-Jalil on Sunday. Already Abdul-Jalil has altered several Libyan laws that did not line up with Sharia, such as banning local banks from charging interest and making it legal to again practice polygamy.
no interest AND multiple wives?... who has been hiding this tidbit of information about Sharia law?... and how do we go about getting this implimented here?

wait... if i don't pay interest on loans, then they charge fees for the priviledge of using their money... banks are going to make money somehow... they're not charity groups, after all (sorry Occupy Wall Street)... so, i'm not saving anything.

well, there's still the polygamy!... then i can have multiple wives inform me when, where, and how i've done something wrong.

*sigh*
nevermind.

source:
Islamic Winter: Tunisian and Libyan 'liberation' leads to Sharia
Mustapha Ajbaili: Libyan NTC chief’s ‘liberation’ speech raises eyebrows