Mozart.
That's right. We're starting with Mozart. There is no better place to begin a story like this than with Mozart.
Anyone with a name like "Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart" is bound for greatness. Anyone christened with the name "Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart" will then rightfully change his name, if only for brevity's sake. For it's not the destiny of "Johannes Mozart" to become great. No, it's the destiny of one who chooses "Wolfgang", adds to it "Amadeus" (love God), to become great. And part of that destiny is to be extremely non-conformist.
And when this person writes music, because of course he'll write music, he will write some of the greatest masterpieces known to mankind. Music the likes of:
- Serenade No. 13 - "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" (A Little Night Music)
- Symphony No. 41 - "Jupiter"
- Clarinet Concerto
- The Magic Flute
- Requiem
- "Leck Mich Im Arsch" (Lick me in the ass)
There's no need to read that again. You absolutely read that last one correctly. As catchy titles go, that's pretty good. I doubt you'll forget that any time soon. You might even be looking it up online to hear how baudy, even raunchy, that tune might be. Well, I'm sorry, but you may be disappointed. Unless you speak German, it's your standard Mozart fare.
But even if you don't speak German fluently, you might catch words and phrases that make you wonder what it's all about. As if you weren't wondering already.
Leck mich im arsch! Goethe, Goethe! Götz von Berlichingen! Zweiter Akt.
Well, we know the title of the song. But what does Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, a German writer who is most well known for his celebrated drama about the devil, Faust, have to do with Mozart and the licking of hindquarters? Well, it has nothing to do with the fact that each of them have the name "Wolfgang" as part of their name, but that's a wonderful coincidence.
No, it has to do with a successful 1773 drama by Goethe about an adventurer-poet named Gottfried. He was known as Götz of the Iron Hand. This drama was based on a real-life military man named Götz von Berlichingen. Thus, we have divined the source of the other name and it's connection to Goethe. But who was Götz ?
Götz was a German Imperial Knight from the 1500's who had an iron hand. I don't mean this figuratively or metaphorically. He lost his hand in battle when he was only 24 and a cannon shot forced his own sword against him. He continued going to battle with the help of a iron prosthetic that allowed him to grip a shield or his horse's reins. He retired from battle 40 years later and died at age 81. He was married twice and had seven sons and three daughters. Apparently losing an arm did not hinder him in any way.
Needless to say, Götz was a bad-ass and more of a man than any of us reading this today.
To put a finer point on the bad-assery of Götz, we must understand a part of Goethe's drama about him, to which Mozart references. Mozart proclaims, "Zweiter Akt!", which means, "the Second Act", again referring to Goethe's drama about Götz of the Iron Hand. While Mozart was mistaken, and the important dialogue takes place in the Third Act, we are quite sure about, without any doubt, which portion he is referring us to.
Götz, in the drama, is under siege by the Imperial Army. He is caught inside his castle and surrounded by the enemy. The captain of the army comes to Götz, who is at a window looking down on the multitude. The captain looks up and asks him to surrender. Götz of the Iron Hand replies as only a man with an iron hand (and possibly brass balls) could. The line goes something like this:
"Me, surrender! At mercy! Whom do you speak with? Am I a robber! Tell your captain that for His Imperial Majesty, I have, as always, due respect. But he, tell him that, he can lick me in the arse!"
Now, we have no way of knowing if this ever happened, or if it is simply a fantasy of Goethe. But in 1525, Götz fought in the German Peasants' War against the Ecclesiastical Princes of the Holy Roman Empire, during which time he returned to his castle. The Holy Roman Empire won the war, and Götz was called to account for his actions and imprisoned. I doubt there was such a siege on his castle, but there may very well been a frank conversation occur, nonetheless.
Götz wrote an autobiography which wasn't published for over one hundred and seventy years, until 1731. The Biography of Sir Götz von Berlichingen was the basis for Goethe's 1773 play, and the subsequent lyrics for Mozart's lesser known, but equally important, songs.
So that is the story behind the music, the theater, and the history of Götz of the Iron Hand. And if you didn't like it, you can "leck mich im arsch!"